My Birth as Maha Kaali Bhakt

My birth as Maha Kaali Bhakt

This is one of my most important birth and very dear to me.

I’m sharing just a little aspect of this birth.

There is ocean of knowledge engraved.

PART ONE

I first saw myself as a male Rishi of 65 years of age.

The surrounding, where I saw myself was a hilly jungle. The height of these hills wasn’t so high. But the hilly range was a long stretch. The hills weren’t heavily covered with trees but grass, plants, trees could be seen in patches and there were other blotches of solid rocks amongst these green patches.

It was far away from any human habitation.  

I stepped forward to see my point of focus. Amongst the rocky surface there stood what appeared to be a small cave. The opening of the cave was small. Outside it were plenty of wild bushes and few trees….some very old.

The opening of the cave was so small that one had to bend pretty low to be able to entre it. It seemed pitch dark from the outside. I focused myself to enter what seemed like a very promising and inviting cave.

It wasn’t just a cave….it was my cave home. My safe heaven, my comforting home. The inside was totally different from what I imagined and if I was even close to have imagined.

Unlike from what it looked from outside…the inside of the cave roof was very high. The cave was not even so small had enough leg room and yet some free space.

It took me a little time to notice what was it that was pulling my attention so much to the other side. I was being interrupted in my admiration towards the homely atmosphere dot in the middle of wilderness.

When I turned to see what was drawing me towards it, I stood awestruck. When we entered the cave, towards the right side was a huge statue of Maa Maha Kaali. To call it huge was an understatement…it looked giant. It was breathtakingly beautiful and incredibly carved. There was so much of Power and Energy emanating from it that it looked like it was from another world. No amount of words could define it.

It was so so so powerful….that if a person be blessed to see it, he’ll forget to blink or remove himself from staring at the huge Energy source. The rock statue was black. She was fierce-most and at the same time beautiful-most.

I had to really struggle hard to bring my focus back to the overall cave. It felt like she was a huge magnet with pulling force so high that anyone could leave best of riches and comforts of the world…...just to experience few moments of immense bliss by merely standing in HER PRESENCE.

I shifted my focus to grasp the other observations. Here I saw myself sitting in Samadhi in front of Maa Kaali. My body was completely still and focus fixed. Her aura surrounded my entire being and also the entire cave….probably outside too. It felt like the Universe’s Energy source has come fixed smack in the middle of our small planet inside that hard-to-reach cave.

The cave was dark and yet there was so much light in the inside. The cave opening was too small to let any sunlight enter the cave….

Astonishingly I realized that the cave had a bright glow which was even both in day as well as night time. Surprised as I was I squinted to see how it was even possible. All this while I had been trying to build my focus to grasp most of what I could of this birth….and then I got so carried away by Maa Kaali’s statue that I completely missed out on noticing the unnatural and yet highly natural glow. I thought there might be two Diyas kept on each side of the statue……

But…...My guess was highly incorrect.

I was in non-stop Samadhi and no Diyas were present around. I wouldn’t get up out of my Samadhi for lighting up Diyas and maintaining them….in fact, I wouldn’t get out of Tapasya for anything….

If I say I was stunned would really not be enough to describe my realization. It was not hard…. but impossibly hard to grasp that the glow inside was emanating from the TEJ of my TAPASYA.

The ‘TEJ’ is difficult to describe. It’s the aura perhaps which is made up of the power of Maa Kaali showered as blessing towards the efforts of HER SADHAK. So the entire cave was filled with the Divine Glow and Energy.

My heart was overwhelmed with emotions I didn’t understand and my mind was stunned…my soul desired to get more information.

·         I craved to know…

·         Who I was

·         How did I reach here

·         Who were my family

·         Who got me to this path

·         Since how long I was in Samadhi

·         What was the purpose of the Tapasya

·         How was it even possible to attain such level of enlightenment

·         What was the journey for such a Spiritual Advancement

PART TWO

I wanted to quench my thirst of the knowledge by getting my questions answered.

So my focus took me back to the time when I was born.

I saw an extremely poor mother who couldn’t afford to even take care of my basic needs was holding me tight in her shaking hands. She had to really struggle very hard to decide what she was about to do. She put me in a basket and kissed me goodbye with tears filled eyes and flowing heavily down her cheeks.

I sensed how she wished there was even one ray of hope for keeping me with her and never letting me go.  She put me in the basket and left me into the smoothly flowing river. Showered me with blessings and wishes and prayers that I soon be found and rescued by someone who could take care of me and I had a better chance to survive there than near her. She wiped her eyes to see me one last time and saw that I was smiling so cheerfully at her.

I saw that within some time a Rishi and His wife who had come to the river side saw me. They caught my basket and were spellbound to see me all smiling wide at them. Their eyes filled with awe and tears at the sudden unexpected gift.

They had been married since a long time and didn’t have a child. They took me to their Ashram which was nearby.

The Rishi was a Guru and had a beautiful ashram in the middle of forest and very near to river. He had about 20-25 disciples living there for their Vedic studies. Guru Mata insisted that they should consider me as their son. I was like a gift for them from Gods. Rishi Guru was both slightly reluctant as well as excited to have me officially his son. He had immense knowledge as well as spiritual enlightenment. With his knowledge he saw my Kundali (horoscope). To my surprise it was so accurate.

He made his wife sit with me in her lap. Saw how happy she was and how happy he’d be to have me as part of his family. He cleared his throat and then his mind from the emotions and told his wife that he wanted to inform her about my future. Requesting her to think over what all he’d say and only then take any decision on me. He promised that if she still wanted they will have me as their son officially.

He began to tell her that she will have the Matritva Sukha (Motherly Pleasure) only for 12 years. And that there was no way to stop me and extend my stay with them. He told his wife that I would be a huge Maa Maha Kaali Bhakt and that I was destined to go for an extremely tough Tapasya. He told her that my life span was full hundred years and right after 12th year I would leave for Forest all alone and for Tap.

The Guru Mata was confident that even if she got just 12 years, she wanted to have a son as blessing and that after I were gone she at least knew she has a son somewhere who is extremely bright with his karma. He agreed happily and never regretted the decision. She asked her husband, now officially my father what should my name be kept as? My father told my mother that my name be kept as TAPAS. He further added that I had done Tapasya continuously from past 80 births and hence I should be called as Tapas Rishi.

I then started to see myself growing up in my parent’s beautiful ashram and studying for my Guru father and being loved by both parents. The thick green grass bed that was encircling the Ashram, the beautiful tall trees seen as far as your sight could hold and melodious music of river mixed with the chirping of birds…..all these added to the heavenly atmosphere.

PART THREE

Now my focus shifted and took me back to the cave. In my entire span of hundred years, my Guru, Maa Maha Kaali was so happy with me that she gave me HER DARSHAN thrice offering me a VARDAN of my desire.

The first time I asked for Her Bhakti.

The second time I again asked Her for more Bhakti, Her love and Blessings that I am able to continue further uninterrupted in Her Bhakti and Tapasya.

The Third time when She blessed me with Her Darshan and offered me another Vardaan, I asked for PoornMoksha. I had gained enough enlightenment to understand a soul’s real journey.

She was very pleased and granted me the boon.

She told me that my Guru father’s assessment of my life graph was correct. She made me aware how I had been doing Tapasya for past 80 births before that birth. She further confirmed that according to my karma, I was almost on the verge of achieving PoornMoksha and will have to take only a few more births.

She told me that ACCORDING TO MY DESTINY I had a full lifespan of 100 years in this birth.

YET…..

She was so happy that SHE BLESSED ME WITH A BOON that I CAN LEAVE MY BODY AT MY WILL and that whenever I desire to leave my body, SHE WOULD COME PERSONALLY TO ME

It was then, I asked Her for to explain me how the Tapasyas and efforts of this birth would contribute in final Moksha journey. Also I asked Her that though it’s a soul’s journey yet I wanted my efforts of this birth, my Tapasya of this lifetime to be known to me when it would be my last birth.

She smiled at me understandingly and assured me explaining that

·         In “Every-birth”, every “BODY” that holds the soul has to do its part of Karma, contribute in the Huge Divine mission

·         Moksha is a huge process, a life journey of a soul to its final destination

·         None of my efforts would ever go waste

·         None of my efforts would ever go forgotten

·         She promised me that She will ensure that I be made aware of the efforts and Karma of my previous births which accumulatively amounted to Moksha, which played their own vital roles in this divine journey

·         She promised that She will HERSELF enlighten my “BODY” of the last birth specifically about this particular birth so that in that birth I fully understand the importance of efforts done of my this & other births and that I take it further ensuring I achieve the Moksha. And how in this birth I was just 6-7 steps away from achieving it. AND this is HER promise, HER VARDAAN to me

Then I saw my focus shift to my end. I was 100 years old now and I also desired to leave as destined. Though I had the blessing of dying at my will. I used my will and was about to leave my body.

I clearly remember neither I was in any pain nor in pleasure.

And almostly as soon as I exercised my WILL, SHE WAS THERE, NEAR ME, came to receive me as promised.

I (Tapas Rishi) could see HER, but I (the present me) could just feel HER PRESENCE there. However I could see myself (Tapas Rishi)

Most surprising was I left my body in Tapasya/ Samadhi pose (sitting like in meditation) & suddenly with a blink of an eye, my body got burnt into ashes with HER YOGAGNI, Her Tej and Her blessing. My body got burnt in fraction of seconds right in presence of my soul.

She told me this is your “antim-sanskaar” or last rites.

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I am yet to decide if I should share with you all my most enlightening birth....Namaste